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How to Get Out of Work to Watch the U.S. v. Germany Game Tomorrow

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There is only one universally recognized diagnosable illness that can garner one an excused absence from work without a doctor’s note. That illness is of course, footballitis. As you can see from this Adidas ad circa World Cup 2002, it is an illness that affects one mentally and physically which means you’re going to be utterly useless at your workplace if you have it.

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No worker with footballitis can be expected to adequately concentrate on any task with a match as big as U.S. v. Germany going on. If you think you might have footballitis, the responsible thing to do is stay home from work tomorrow and watch U.S./Germany. It’s vital for your health; after all, there is no cure for footballitis. You can only hope to manage the symptoms and the only way to do that is to not do anything important like your job and just watch the U.S. play Germany.

Contemplating those affected by footballitis...

Contemplating those affected by footballitis…

So there you go, it’s simple: call in sick with footballitis tomorrow. Your employer will surely understand, and if they don’t, do you really want to be working at a place insensitive to the hazards of footballitis anyway?

Feel free to share your methods for coping with footballitis below…

And if you need a way to help pass the time until kickoff tomorrow, check out my brand new non-fiction book Dallas ‘Til I Cry:  Learning to Love Major League Soccer, now available on Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle e-book versions.

Talkin’ Sash

Chelsea’s new away kit is pretty cool except…

Chelsea recently released their new away kit for the 2012/13 season.  The Adidas duds are primarily white and classy overall – until you get to that baby blue sash.  The sash… arrrrgh!  It’s so overrated and overused in world soccer at the moment.  Nike used it pretty effectively for the U.S. national team at the 2010 World Cup in a nice nod to the 1950 U.S. World Cup squad who pulled off that famous upset of England.  But the last couple years have seen an outbreak of frequently hideous sashes (exhibit A in the hideous department is Sweden’s current away jersey, which resembles a road sign).  And now the sash has infected Chelsea.

Pumped about the sash: Frank Lampard, Daniel Sturridge, John Terry, and two unidentified summer transfers…

The new Chelsea away kit is almost an instant classic with its uncluttered, clean look, and tasteful Adidas shoulder stripes.  Many soccer fans hate all white uniforms, but I’ve always liked them.  The plainer white the kit, the better as far as I’m concerned.  But then they have to go and add that diagonal sash.  To be fair, the Chelsea sash isn’t a disaster as sashes go.  It’s simply unnecessary to the uniform.  Sorry to be such a sash basher, but they always remind me of beauty pageant contestants and dictators.

I also think if you’re going with a mostly white uniform, you need to complete the ensemble with white socks.  But this getup’s socks are black.  Oh well.  It could be worse.  I do like that they went with different shades of blue rather than off-the-wall colors that are totally unrelated to the club’s core colors.  Overall, it’s a mixed review.  Certainly not bad, but I’m not going to rush out and get this one.  Blame the sash.

What do you think of Chelsea’s new away kit?